My thoughts

Today was a relaxin day for me. Not relaxin at home thou, outside home.
I visited my granny. Hees. Been some time when i visited her and talked to her and grandad. She's aged, i've only really realised that today.
She said she cooked my favourite just so she might have a chance to see me.

My loss all along, not being able to appreciate ah ma's everything.
Will visit her more often, promise!

( on my own thou, i can concentrate on talkin to them this way)

I'm seriously pissed with dad and mom. I just think they're too much many times. Dad, forever doesn't admit that he just treats ying beta. Seriously, many can tell, except himself. I find my own comfort, my own strength, else where. I told myself, i'll grow out of needin them like i used to. Dad, forever cannot take my words seriously. Like AH MAH is NOT EQUAL to FRANKIE. I don't see & understand why i need to repeat sooo many times. If he doubts, then forget it. I really regretted taking his ride this aftnoon.

And Mom, forever nagging. She doesn't just nag, she NAGS!! And that sorta power needs thousand years of cultivation and inner strength to come. She's attained that. I am already NOT HOMELY, face it. It won't change. Plus her sacarcisms that comes uninvitedly without any slightest sigh of provoke that comes from me. It's sickening. So, plus she's making me hate staying home, and why do i see a reason staying home. Only when i'm tired. I appreciated everyone at home, literally everyone. BUT THEY CANT.

I find myself constantly seeking shelters to avoid thinkin of the bad stuffs. The fear of going home to face the music. (which i can never catch the tune) I can't help but keep wanting to stay away from home for as much as i can. I know one day i will. Just bring in the money after i start working and stay away from as much nonsense as i can.

I seriously think i'm under some psychological stuff. I mean i will really go see a doctor soon. Perhaps i'm suffering from depression, or even worst cases which i don't even know it myself.

Anyhow, i've pictures of my AH MAH to share. :)
To take myself away from the unhappy thoughts..

~Ah Mah lookin happy in my white shawl~


~My Ah gong meddling with some stuff~


~Ah Mah and me!!~

That's all, folks!

Y, Lin.