it sucks

I've just had arguments with hun. I'm feeling so lousy today.
Cus i sorta failed to deliver my promise.

I told my friends i'd back order for them. but it turned out that supplier side has no more stock.
Very disappointed. Perhaps i'm investing too much ''responsibility'' into this hobby of mine.

So devasted. Really lost my mind, almost. Called hun about the situation. But instead of advicing me, of the best way out, or even feeling for me, he just sorta broke into a fake laughter, which i didnt know what that mean. What was that supposed to mean. Anyhow, he was confused with what ever i was telling him over the phone. Which i really find it frustrating. I needed his advice, or words which will calm me down and look at things more objectively. But i ended up explaining what the situation was, what clothes what status, etc. It just makes me wonder, when we got the clothes, he was there with me, but was he really there. Or was he there, but not there? Irony.

Shucks. Feeling so left out in his life. He's so caught up with work, with his buddy's problems, etc. the last time i saw him was saturday. The most impt is that i feel we havent spent time good time over the phone.

It's really awful. Sour, bitter argument.